I've decided that I'd like to keep profanity out of my blog by adopting this same tradition. Not only will it force me to be more creative, it will force me to exercise my irony gland (which I believe I learned about in grade eight health class...it's just behind the pancreas, right?)
The timing of this decision couldn't have been more appropriate, because on Monday evening this week I met the most irritating, block-headed, viciously cruel assho..
I should mention at this point that it was approximately 27 degrees Centrigrade on Monday (81 degrees fahrenheit for all my non-existent American readers), and the sun was beaming straight in the front windshield of the car. Thankfully, the brilliant owner of this poor animal had carefully scrutinized the situation and concluded that leaving his windows down a couple of centimeters would suffice to keep his dog safe and comfortable.
Now, I love dogs. A happy dog reduces me to a grinning doofus, and puppies might as well be fur-covered hits of ecstacy for all the rational capacity I have around them. My first puppy, a beautiful Austrailian Shepherd named Brooker, was my shadow from the day we brought him home, and I still get misty-eyed looking at his pictures; he had a stroke in November of 2008 at twelve years old and had to be put down later that day. All of this is to say that seeing a dog locked in a car during a record-setting mid-May heatwave had me furious.
(Note: I want to point out that in the ensuing confrontation, I might be paraphrasing a bit - to keep the profanity out of my blog, quite a bit in some places. Confrontations are not my strong suit, and adrenaline was coursing through me. However, I do know that I never once insulted, disparaged, or attacked the man personally, but simply questioned his decision to leave his dog in the car.)
I was making up my mind to call the police when out of the store came the esteemed dog-owner. I glared at him and asked, "How hot do you think it is inside the car?"
He gave a cheerful smile and said, "I would ask that you mind your own business, my good sir."
"It's dangerously hot in there, and your dog could die," I replied.
"Come now, my distinguished fellow, it couldn't possibly be dangerous for him if I was only in the store for a few minutes," he happily responded. "May I once again ask you to mind your own business?"
"I should call the cops, this is cruelty to animals," I offered.
The thought of the local constabulary intervening in the situation seemed to provide some unease, and he became quite eloquent and forceful, offering nuanced and considered opinions on numerous topics ranging from the ethical value of my observations, my definition of cruelty to animals, my sexual preferences, and interestingly, the nature of my personal relationship with my mother.
I knew at this point I was facing a master of rhetoric, a paragon of morality and champion of goodwill. He had defeated me utterly, and I had no choice but to concede.
"Whatever," I muttered. "Enjoy your dog." He hopped into his car and drove away.
("Enjoy your dog" will go down as one of the most devastating come-backs in history. I just sprained my irony gland.)
Anyway. What an as....
This is going to be more difficult than I thought.
You are truly a gentleman D, a gentleman indeed
ReplyDeleteYou are truly a gentleman D, a gentleman indeed
ReplyDeleteHaving also seen some Tweets about the incident, some thoughts as an owner of a dog with separation anxiety:
ReplyDeleteFirst, your concern is admirable. But I suspect that both sides may have needed to use more compassionate communication.
We don't know why the dog was in the car or for how long. It may have only been a couple of minutes as the person ran in for milk.
Perhaps they were on their way home from the dog park, wife called and said "we need milk ASAP!" Perhaps there is construction at home and dog must travel with owner. Perhaps the dog has severe separation anxiety and can't be left home alone. Perhaps they are in the middle of a road trip and needed water/food.
This isn't to excuse leaving any being in a car in the sun for long periods, but we don't know how long the dog was there.
It was hot. There was glaring - and not just from the sun. People are cranky. Maybe in another situation the person would have sincerely responded "thank you for your concern. I know it's not ideal, but I had to stop for 5 minutes so we would have food."
Would you have been as upset to see a dog in a car, stopped in midday rush hour traffic on the 401, in a car without A/C, with the windows only partly rolled down because otherwise the dog would have its head out when the car is driving highway speeds (which is very dangerous), but without electric windows the driver cannot easily open and close the windows with every start and stop... and the car, dog, and other passengers could easily be sitting in the sun for much longer periods, with little to no airflow, surrounded by idling car fumes-smog...
Again, while your concern is admirable, and the response of the other was antagonistic, perhaps we should not always assume the worst and act as such (and thus prompt antagonistic responses).
Just a thought to consider in your explorations.
I think you forget, you DO have at least one American reader. (She just happens to live in Canada.)
ReplyDeleteWell done, chivalrous gent! Idiots should not be allowed to own dogs. Grr.
And he has at least one American reader who lives in the US! It's Cleveland, but it still counts. Oh, for you Canadians, Cleveland is the last place people want to live, apparently!
ReplyDeleteYour eloquence was justified :P
Hi chum. Maybe next time (hopefully there will never be a next time but heaven knows they are breeding all around us) you should call the police directly and let him discuss it with them. His eloquence will be tested in dealing with the constabulary instead of telling you to mind your own business. You remember the gentleman that we met at the dog park and how willinghe was to take control of his animal when we asked. Dealing with idiots is a no win situation. They simply don't have the tools to be rational.
ReplyDeleteLYAB